It amuses me that rational beings often succumb before the thunder of emotions .Anyway its been a very long day. I try to lie down for a bit, maybe get some sleep. It's been a while since I've got some alone time. A mirror opposite tells me I look like a zombie. Insomniac and a zombie, I thought. Who the fuck keeps a dozen mirrors in a cage. So dumb. Ouch! It hurts to even relax oneself around here. The floor is hostile. My ankle is hurt, a drop of orange fluid oozes out from my flawless skin, escape into the nothingness below through space between the bars. That's a miracle! A tiny bit of me is now under free fall. A tiny bit of me is free. I should celebrate, but for now, I should sleep. I close my eyes, to embrace the darkness, but instead light greets me with a radiant smile. It's beautiful and blinding.
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Friday, June 5, 2020
Free Fall
I am tired.No, exhausted is the right word.These iron bars I've built for myself is crunching me in.That would be slightly inaccurate considering the fact that the cages have been there forever.I never built one but I chose mine. They've turned rusty recently. I can feel the roughness whenever my shoulder brush past it.On some days there is an urge to tap my head lightly on it.Thud.Thud.Thud.I hope it would calm me down.It doesn't. I know from the past that it never works but its a habit now.There is a slight comfort in repetition,monotony,and sheer familiarity. Its been ages since I last saw those magnificent keys.Crafted with utmost precision,made of gold the keys always reminded me of pride,arrogance and royalty.Even in the dark,my eyes closed,I can still imagine its elegant curves and dents when I held them close for one last time.Its strange what your brain can make you do.Vision blurry, clouded ,a quiet rage mounting inside ,time never stopped to see what I did.And I did what I did. I threw out into the abyss my freedom,locked myself inside.Regret hit even before the keys did.I was too ignorant to detect the flaw in the plan.Now I see it.All of it.
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